HBO recently kicked of the long-awaited fourth season of Game of Thrones. Yippee! The show’s characters are deep and interesting and they are what makes the show so awesome. It got me thinking about some of the brands we love, love to hate or just hate and which characters they would be if they took up residence in Westeros. Time for some fun.
Halliburton – Not afraid to bend a few rules for personal gain, both Cersei Lannister and Halliburton are calculating and power-hungry. If Cersei is not plotting how to ascend the next rung on the royal ladder, she’s scrambling to protect the position she’s worked so hard to get to. She and Dick Cheney could certainly share some war stories about ruling the world over a few cocktails.
“The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected. Sometimes, that requires us to take actions that generate controversy.” –Dick Cheney
“Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.” – Cersei Lannister
Yelp – The wolves in ill-disguised sheep’s clothing, both Yelp and Oberon Martell (otherwise known as the Red Viper) operate under the guise of helpfulness. You visit Yelp to get customer reviews of establishments you might want to patron, but in reality, Yelp is where people mostly complain about said businesses, so the reviews are heavily skewed to the negative. Rumor also has it that Yelp takes revenge on businesses who choose not to advertise with them by pushing all negative reviews to the top of search results. Purely conjecture though.
Likewise, Oberon, who is new to the Game of Thrones story this season, is purportedly in King’s Landing to advise on the King’s small council, however his real motive is revenge on the Lannisters for murdering his sister, niece and nephew years ago when Robert Barratheon ascended the throne. Perhaps he needs a new nickname if he wants to be more subtle about his motives.
Tesla – Whether it’s ending slavery or saving the environment, these fast-growing powerhouses with hearts of gold are poised to take over their respective universes.
Dany attracts faithful followers wherever she goes, blasting her way to Westeros and breaking down barriers. She’s a champion for the small folk but also the dangerous foe looming on the horizon that all Westeros is buzzing about.
Tesla, with it’s dealership-busting new selling model is the scariest competitor to incumbent auto builders ever. By busting the existing dealership model, Tesla opens the doors to not only create a new and more attractive selling model for themselves, but also for smaller players worldwide. Long held back by the U.S. dealership structure, auto-makers too small for dealers to risk on them couldn’t break into the U.S. market. Perhaps Tesla should name its new models Drogon and Viscerys.
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Martha Stewart – Yep, didn’t see that one coming, huh? These two are walking paradoxes—outwardly perfect but carrying a LOT of baggage. We do love a comeback though. Some said Martha’s reputation would never come back after her 2007 legal troubles,but her brand has made a seamless recovery. Likewise Jaime, while haunted by the Kingslayer moniker, is the character we have grown to love, even though he’s a dastardly Lannister.
And Martha couldn’t be a more polarizing brand, we can’t get enough of her perfect parties, decorations and pretty everything, while personally, we’re not sure if she’s quite as lovable. If she and Jaime had a baby, it would be one bad-ass tea party doily.
Twitter – Knowledge, wit and bravery all in brief package.
Tyrion (my favorite character) is full of heart and caustic wit as he struggles to do the right thing for the people. Frequently misunderstood and usually underestimated, his resilience and heart make him a fan favorite.
Likewise Twitter is the little engine that could. Continually underestimated and undervalued, Twitter’s enduring likeableness and steadfast fanbase continue to ensure it doesn’t get swept aside.
Did I miss your favorite character? What brand comparisons would you make? Enjoy the season!
Photos courtesy of HBO.